So, finally, after my introduction post, I’m updating – shockhorror!
It’s funny. Before I opened a journal, I had so much to say, but as soon as I agreed with sockmonk I’d begin to use this one, I seemed to dry up.
So you have FlashForward to thank for this entry.
I’ve been meaning to watch it for the longest time, since it premiered here on the 28th September (we, in Britain, get it on the Monday after Americans and Canadians do), but I didn’t really have time to sit down and watch them; instead, I had them recorded on my TV, ready for me to watch it during the week. Of course, as always with such plans, I never did get around to it – until today. Instead of going out and getting our hair cut as my mother and I had planned, we sat in front of the TV with bacon sandwiches and cups of tea and decided to watch all of the five episodes I had.
Oh, I’m glad I didn’t watch them as they aired – some of the endings would have killed me to wait for the next episode! Brilliant, pure brilliance! I have all kinds of theories on some of the events, but I’m not even going to go there in case I embarrass myself with being totally and unforgivably wrong (and you know how much it grates when people think they are oh-so-right about fandom predictions). I’ll wait, and then say I told you so, I think, aha. That’s just the kind of girl I am!
So it got me thinking; what if I could see my future? What if, more importantly, I had a choice? If someone gave me the opportunity, would I take it? Would I want to take it?
Let’s take John Cho’s character, Demetri, who, by the way, I find so hard to look at without thinking “Sulu wears a suit?”. He knows he’s going to die. Think about future events that are coming up, things you know about and wish weren’t happening. For example, last year, I had exams I didn’t want to do, though I love exams, and I knew they were just around the corner. It felt as if I was moving towards a brick wall, and it was getting closer and closer and closer…but there was nothing I could do about it. I felt out of control somewhat, which is a big fear of mine. It was odd, the panic, like something I’ve never felt before.
Now imagine that event is your death. That brick wall is you being murdered. Can you imagine living knowing how and when you would die, when you can do absolutely nothing about it? What would the point of living be, when all you wanted to do was slam those breaks so that brick wall would never hit you? Or, rather, you’d never hit that brick wall.
I, personally, have never been afraid of death, but the idea of knowing how and when I was going to die doesn’t seem very pleasant to me.
So what if the whole world knew how they were going to die? From birth? What a strange world we would live in. For once, no one would fear death. Or maybe they would, but it would be an irrational fear. It is an irrational fear, but even more so if we all knew how we were going to die. I suppose, really, the fear is of what is on the other side of death, but I digress.
What if we knew what would happen in the future, is my point? And no matter what we did, no matter what happened, nothing could change that future? We’d be trapped in our own fate, unable to move, shuffling along knowing that it didn’t matter what we did; the future would come true. We can’t change it, because changing the past to change the future is a bit of a paradox; if you went back and killed your grandfather, you’d never exist to be able to kill your grandfather, if that makes sense?
Tricky thing, the future. Is it defined already? Are we all hurtling along towards our own deaths, our own futures? No matter what we do, will we be carried to this place without any say? I, personally, find it a terrifying thought. I’ve never liked the idea of fate, purely from the fact I am a bit of a control freak, and feeling that I’m not in control of my future strikes fear into my heart, really it does.
But what if, like Bryce in FlashForward, we saw something happy? Something that told us our life would be good and fruitful, and filled with happiness? What then? Would we want to know what happened then?
I guess the most obvious answer is yes, because it would make living much easier, to know we would end up happy. But at the same time, it’s putting all your happiness on this one event is an unhealthy thing to do.
So, the short answer, after that essay-type answer, is no. I would never want to see my future, although it would be the hardest and most tempting decision I would ever make. I would feel trapped in my fate if I were to ever discover what the future held for me.
What about you? Would you agree to see the future if you were given a choice? Do you believe in fate, and think the future is made already? I’d love to hear people’s thoughts on this!